and she was petting her beer can
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
