I wanna bring you to show and tell
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
