There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize