I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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