i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
