if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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