No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I see more hoeing in ur future
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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