Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
