they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
