The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
