imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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