Kareoke will never be a sober sport
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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