Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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