I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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