I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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