Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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