Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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