i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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