it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
