Soap is not a condiment
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
