If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
