Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
