I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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