Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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