based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
