Non-Jews are for practice
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
