Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
