She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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