Whod you bang
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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