Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
