Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need to stop coming to work sober
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
