The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he thought i was a dude.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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