I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
