Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize