i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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