hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
