I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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