Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
