dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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