I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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