You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
