ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
