YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize