In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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