he puts the penis in happiness.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
