During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
