I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't deserve a penis
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize