I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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