I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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