Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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