I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
