You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
