he wants to bone in the snuggie
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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