What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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