He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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