idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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