My first STD was from a foam party
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Do vagina's smell?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize