And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
