ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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