I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
3pm strippers are depressing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
